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How Do You Talk to Yourself?

We are all told to change our attitude. We are told to be more positive.

Sounds like a good idea, right? Everyone knows they should have a positive attitude so why aren’t we positive all the time?

Why? Why does it matter?

There are hundreds of studies you can look up to see research behind this from increased health to job promotions.

So why do we fight it? Let’s face it, it is easier to be negative than positive.

sun through clouds

Someone starts complaining about something and we have no problems jumping in to agree.  Facebook is a perfect example. Look at how many people post angry responses.

Why don’t we do the same for the positive conversations? I am not saying all we do is complain. I am just saying people tend to commiserate more than compliment.

In saying that, we need to make the actual effort to think another way. 

We are especially hard with ourselves. Our negative self-talk is detrimental  to our mental health.

I would like you to try an experiment. Choose a time frame – 24 or 48 hours for this experiment.

In this time, every time you have a negative thought, change the wording in your head. Also, keep track of how often you do this.

Let me give you an example of what I mean…

You pour yourself a cup of coffee and then knock it over.  This is my example by the way.

I might say to myself, “I am such an idiot! I always do stupid things like this!!”

Nothing like over reacting. I, of course, don’t always do things like this. It was an accident.

After the words come out of my mouth, I remember I am doing this exercise.

Then I say, “It was only coffee. It is not a big deal. Accidents happen. I am good.”

Pay attention to how you feel when you use this new verbiage. Quite the difference, isn’t it?

This might seem pretty insignificant and it is.  I wanted to give you trivial example since we do this so many times a day. The big stuff is more obvious. It is the little things we don’t even realize we are doing.

Remember when I asked you to keep track of how often you do this? You may be surprised at the end of the day how many times you speak to yourself this way.

At the end of the day, what were your thoughts?

I, for one would never speak to someone else how I speak to myself. Would you ever say these things to a friend? Of course not! Why say them to yourself?

When we retrain the way we speak to ourselves, our lives change.

If follows the Law of Attraction theory.

When we say  things like… “I can never pay my bills on time…” , we create that reality. We are putting that out in the universe. We are creating that energy around us.


I am not saying your life will be ponies and rainbows if you have a positive attitude.

It has been my experience if I am conscientious in my thinking and am grateful for even the smallest things, it makes a difference. Some days are harder than others.

It is important to be realistic but if we can even change our thoughts a bit, I find it helps dramatically.

We all know people who constantly complain. Even if you offer to help, they find a way it won’t work. 

I find when you are like this, you create more problems. I am not saying everything will be perfect if you are positive but it definitely makes life easier.

Try the experiment.

How did it work for you?